“Chinese Tiger Mother's parenting philosophy demands perfection - Pittsburgh Tribune-Review” plus 1 more |
| Chinese Tiger Mother's parenting philosophy demands perfection - Pittsburgh Tribune-Review Posted: 24 Jan 2011 11:43 AM PST By John Rosemond, McCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS Over the years, I have been called every name in the book, all related to my admittedly traditional parenting philosophy. Draconian is a favorite slur. I am confident that these epithets are tossed by folks who have turned their children into golden calves, so I have no problem with harsh or evil or "parenting Hitler" or any of the rest. But my reputation might be in store for rehabilitation, because, according to Amy Chua, writing in the Jan. 11 edition of The Wall Street Journal, my parenting malevolence is nothing compared to that of the Chinese Tiger Mother, of which she is one. Consider that the CTM does not allow her children to attend sleepovers, have playdates, participate in school plays, watch television, play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, be less than the very best in every subject save drama and gym, attend sleepover camp and play any instrument other than the piano or violin, of which they will play one or the other. I conclude that future Chinese orchestras will be bereft of horn and percussion sections. I also ponder the competitive chaos that must result if several children of CTMs wind up in the same classroom. Ms. Chua believes that one does not become proficient to the point of superior at a skill without hours and hours of forced practice. Practice must, in fact, be forced because, as she admits, "the child will resist." Left to their own devices, she claims, children never want to work, which is why it is crucial for responsible (presumably) parents "to override their preferences." Ms. Chua overrides her two daughters' preferences by calling them names like "garbage" and threatening to throw away a favorite dollhouse unless the child in question learns a particularly difficult piano piece within 24 hours. If one of her daughters ever came home with a B (something she says never would happen), there would be a "screaming, hair-tearing explosion." From her, mind you, not the child. The CTM believes her child is in debt to her because of the inordinate time and energy she devotes to making sure the child achieves total, unequivocal success in life. If the child does not repay the debt by being the best at everything, it is the CTM's right and, perhaps, even duty to demonstrate, presumably by launching ballistic missiles at the child's psyche, that she is ashamed of the child. This all seems like unmitigated, indefensible emotional blackmail to me, but then, I am a Westerner and, therefore, an unmitigated parenting wuss. I do not understand what it takes for a child to achieve success in life. Is this cultural chauvinism or what? Ms.Chua describes her parenting style as if she is being totally unselfish, but I suggest that she is all about her. This CTM stuff is more about Ms. Chua's ego than it is her kids' success. She lives through her children. She even freely admits that she and her American husband do not agree on how to raise the kids, but when he objects, she simply argues him into submission. The Chinese Tiger Mother also is a Tiger Wife. At the crux of my disagreement with Ms. Chua is her definition of success. She's fixated on grades and other material accomplishments (one of her daughters played Carnegie Hall in 2007). I want a child to pretty much -- with some coaching and correcting, of course -- find his or her own way in life. I'm all for the child learning through trial-and-error what path is right for her. Ms. Chua is about choosing the child's path and keeping her on it no matter what. I think character is more important than material success. Ms. Chua believes character is forged in the struggle for material success. We agree on nothing. In any case, I am indebted to Ms. Chua for inadvertently improving my public image. I now am a Western Parenting Wuss and proud of it. This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service — if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read our FAQ page at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php |
| Lidstrom still contemplating draft philosophy - NHL.com Posted: 24 Jan 2011 02:35 PM PST Don't be shocked if Team Lidstrom attempts to crush Team Staal's strategy by drafting hometown goalie Cam Ward early in Friday's NHL All-Star Fantasy Draft powered by Cisco. "We'll see," said Nicklas Lidstrom, captain of the All-Star team that bears his name. "I know (Eric Staal) wants Cam on his team being in front of the home crowd, so it might be a good strategy to take him and get the crowd on our side. We'll talk amongst ourselves about what we're going to do. We'll have to wait and see." Wait and see was Lidstrom's mantra during a media conference call Monday. It felt almost as if he was trying to be coy about his strategy because he's got a whopper in store for us later in the week when the NHL world descends on Raleigh, N.C. for All-Star Weekend. Or maybe he just has no idea how the draft will play out.Either way, Lidstrom is in charge of selecting his team. He will lean heavily on assistants Patrick Kane and Martin St. Louis. Lidstrom is the lone Red Wing attending the weekend festivities, but Kane has three teammates (Jonathan Toews, Patrick Sharp and Duncan Keith) joining him in Raleigh and St. Louis is heading there with Steven Stamkos, who could very well wind up as the first pick in the draft. That selection might come down to who wins the pre-draft coin flip that decides which team gets the No. 1 pick. If it's Staal, he might put a quick end to the drama and go with Ward. If it's Lidstrom, the well is wide open with options, Ward included. Remember, all six goalies have to be selected within the first 10 rounds. "I've been talking with (Detroit GM) Kenny (Holland) about it and he said, 'You gotta go with defense first, defense wins games,' " Lidstrom said jokingly. "I don't think that's necessarily right with this one." Lidstrom said he will have to sit down with his alternates prior to the draft to go over their strategy. "We're all competitors and we all want to win," Lidstrom said. "We're going to have fun with it but the competitiveness will come out. Being that this is the first time (for the new format) you want to win that game." Lidstrom wouldn't say if his drafting philosophy will be to go with friends, countrymen or foes. There are six Swedish players in the pool.  Corey Masisak - NHL.com Staff WriterAll-Star captains Eric Staal and Nick Lidstrom have the responsibility of picking among their peers -- and in some cases, teammates even brothers -- in filling the rosters for this year's game. READ MORE › RELATED STORIES: RELATED VIDEO: "I don't have a teammate that will be part of this game so I want to get their input and see what they say," Lidstrom said of discussing the strategy with St. Louis and Kane. "I think you have to look at it both ways. Some of the guys you've played against and now you have a chance to play with them. Other guys can be good in the skills competition. It's another thing we'll talk about it." St. Louis will likely stump for Stamkos, but Kane might steer Lidstrom away from Toews. "It'd be pretty fun to match up against Toews," Kane said. "We've been together our whole careers and played together a lot, so it'd be fun to get away from him. But, maybe Nick and Marty want to play with him." Maybe Lidstrom wants to play with both of the Sedins, or perhaps he would like to see them compete against one another? Lidstrom could be in charge of making that happen, especially if he picks Henrik or Daniel and watches Staal take a different player. "They really have a knack of finding each other on the ice when they're playing together," he said. "That might be something to look at see how they fare when they face each other. That might be something we have to discuss when we do the draft." Conspiracy theorists can simmer down because Lidstrom said he has not spoken to Staal to compare strategies or go into cahoots. There is, of course, still time for that to happen behind closed doors. "We were on a few conference calls together but we've never spoken in private about it," he said. "We're going to have fun with it." As they should, but some sneak attack picks -- a la Ward to Team Lidstrom -- wouldn't hurt the weekend ratings. "I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens," Lidstrom said. Follow Dan Rosen on Twitter at: @drosennhl This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service — if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read our FAQ page at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php |
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